does anyone else remember all the discipline of children at the meetings?
i was just thinking how i never see anyone physically punish their children anymore.
growing up attending meetings there was a constant stream of children being taken out & hit, as well as all the whispered threats, arm squeezing, pinching etc.
I think it needs to be noted that it wasn't just witnesses that felt smacking was the best way to discipline a child. I grew up in a non witness household and was regularly beaten and this was the norm in many families. Go round any supermarket and you would see frustrated parents hit their toddlers who were screaming because they were bored or couldn't have something off the shelf.
Times are changing inside and out of the organization as attitudes towards hitting kids changes.
although this is my first post under the name journey edge, i have been a member of the board for a few years now.
i just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
i left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
Are you able to make some quiet time for yourself - meditation, peaceful walks - something that can make you feel recharged and renewed even if just for a short while?
I used to do that but now I am feeling agoraphobic which happens at my worse times. I get scared to leave the house. I go to work part time and take the kids to school but the rest of the time just want to hide away. I guess talking on here is my only outlet.
although this is my first post under the name journey edge, i have been a member of the board for a few years now.
i just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
i left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
It really has helped to talk on here. To answer a few points… yes I too have depression but try to stay positive and focused. I see myself as an optimist and a fighter. That helps me to see the signs in my husband but rather than being able to offer support, he says I am analyzing him and looking for problems that are not there. Sometimes I question myself as to whether that is true but it is not.
I have had psychiatric support but medication has not helped and counselling/therapy is not possible as I live too far away from the clinic for regular sessions as I have no transport. This time my own depression is too great to bear and I know it is induced by his moods and the fact that I am always wrong. To him depression is a weakness which is why he won’t admit his own and why I am alone with mine.
I think I know that I need to end this unhealthy relationship but I do not know whether I am strong enough to hurt him and the kids. I don’t think I love him anymore but I do care about him.
How do you find the strength to do something like this?
although this is my first post under the name journey edge, i have been a member of the board for a few years now.
i just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
i left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
I appreciate all your advice and support.
When his mood is dark and abusive I think I can leave him. If I am hurt or angry I can be strong. The trouble is that the next day, or day after he looks weak and vulnerable and I tell myself it wasn’t that bad. I tell myself I can cope.
When I try to talk to him he calls me a drama queen, says I blow things out of all proportion, and sometimes totally denies things he has said or done- the scary thing is I believe he genuinely has no memory of it!
I think I have reached the point where I know I want to leave him but don’t know if I am strong enough. I also still doubt it is the right thing to do, that I am being selfish…I don’t know!
although this is my first post under the name journey edge, i have been a member of the board for a few years now.
i just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
i left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
The solution is simple: Dump the asshole and follow your own path
Thanks Elsewhere, that made me smile!
The trouble is I still care about his welfare and I am worried how he would cope if I left him. Plus I have nowhere to go and he is not going to leave.
I am also confused because in his mind the problems are my fault, not his. He tells me I am controlling (I don’t know why- I have no desire to control any body) he said he is emotional afraid of me -again I don’t know why.
What if this is all my fault or in my imagination (which he also says)?
What if I break up a family and take the kids from their dad with no good reason?
although this is my first post under the name journey edge, i have been a member of the board for a few years now.
i just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
i left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
Unfortunately I have noone to turn to and the “rope” has been stretched to threads over the 10 years. I am on my own which is why I thought I’d just express how I’m feeling on here. Sometimes you guys have been the closest thing I have had to family. It helps to just admit to someone-to myself that I’m not coping.
although this is my first post under the name journey edge, i have been a member of the board for a few years now.
i just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
i left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
Hi,
Although this is my first post under the name Journey edge, I have been a member of the board for a few years now. I just needed to change my identity to avoid being traced.
I left the truth a number of years ago after 20 years in the faith.
As a witness I married a “good brother”, an elder, pioneer, spiritual man. The trouble is that behind closed doors he was a different person. Originally he accepted that he has depression but as the years went by he became aggressive and angry. His moods have got darker and he now denies that he has a problem.
After 10 years of marriage I am exhausted with arguing and living with the oppressive atmosphere.
He is no longer a witness and is very bitter about the faith and many other things.
I have no idea what to do, I can’t leave him and I can’t live like this. I have found myself feeling suicidal, just because I need to escape but we have children and I know they need me. I feel like I am going to have a break down but don’t know what to do.
I have no one to talk to in my “real” life. I hope you guys don’t mind me of loading on here, no where else to turn. Sorry to be depressing!
